Friday, March 09, 2007

Each new dream... same as the last.

When Ashley said goodbye...

Each new dream... same as the last.

And yet they kept on coming. A procession of rosy futures... glimmering... flickering... fading.

He stared at the surface of the coffee sitting in the stained mug on his warehouse desk. There was just something wrong with the way he was doing this life thing...

A decade earlier, starting out in life, he thought he had it all lined up. A smart, cute, funny girlfriend who put up with his bullshit, his wandering eye, his compulsive, no-end-to-it truth-telling. ("Well, at least I never lied to you!" he said way too often to his tearful, agonized girlfriend.)

But now, looking at a string of broken relationships stretching back to those golden-seeming days, it looked like an empty, bitter joke...

But, as always, a new dream would come... a new girl, a new set of possibilities... a new set of lies he would tell to her, to himself.

A new dream -- but always the same, sad story arc.

He remembered a brief moment when he was about four or five, watching himself standing over a toilet and thinking, this can't be a TV show, 'cause no one ever goes to the bathroom on TV. But it sure does feel like one...

His bitter laugh echoed against the concrete walls of the warehouse when he thought, Man, I should just fire the writing staff...



OK....
enough of all that. Today's version of this song is kind of fun, I think, a funky, glam-folk reading of what I've always thought of as kind of a sleeper.

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Thursday, September 29, 2005
Tuesday, January 09, 2007



When Ashley Said Goodbye

Amber said hello when Ashley said good-bye
I said hold on but there's no wondering why
when love wants in, love can knock down yer door

I said Amber, I think this is forever
she said baby you're yanking on my tether
when all is said and done love will even up the score

Love will fool ya -- love can kill ya
Love is all that love can give ya
and still you keep coming back for more


Love is funny -- love is cruel
Love'll make Einstein act just like a fool
Love'll make a tomcat dive in-a swimin pool

All these toys all these games
all these pretty dollhouses going up in flames
if you play around enough you know you're gonna get burned

Love will fool ya -- love can kill ya
Love is all that love can give ya
and still you keep coming back for more

Thursday, March 08, 2007

When the cocked .45 came out from behind the cop's leg, honest to God, I found myself thinking -- Damn, I know busking is illegal but geez...

A nice, peaceful sidewalk cafe
You almost read about this in the evening news instead of in this blog. This happened just about two hours ago...

When the cocked .45* came out from behind the cop's leg, honest to God, I found myself thinking -- in that slow-mo way -- Damn, I know busking is illegal but I'm just sitting out here in my favorite sidewalk cafe, plunking on my guitar like I have hundreds of times, talking to a pal, drinking some coffee...

But when he brought the gun up the bead was on my friend.

"Take your hands out of your pockets very slowly," he said, the .45 looking surprisingly big like they always do when you're on the wrong end of one. (Hell, they look big from any angle, to me. But compared to the nines most of the cops around here have carried for years, this thing looked like a WWI Howitzer.

My friend slowly realized the cop was talking to him. He got this funny little smile on his face and, very, very slowly drew his hands out of the front pocket of his hoodie, which had its hood up over his head.

"Put your hands on top of your head very slowly -- don't make any sudden moves."

I quickly figured that if I didn't get hit by a through and through, I'd at the very least be wearing my friend. It didn't seem like a happy way to close out the week.

My mind flashed back about ten minutes to ordering my coffee. The barista at the counter had taken a phone call as I put my two bucks across the counter, looked concerned, then got a big grin and said, "Oh, no. Don't worry about that -- he's a customer. He's a sheriff's deputy and he just got off duty... really, everything's OK."

He clicked off the phone, laughing. "The burger joint across the street saw a guy with a gun outside -- but it was a buddy of mine, a deputy just off some assignment and he was in some kind of plain clothes thing with a gun strapped on. He took off a few minutes ago."


Having had a few guns pointed at me before (including a cocked .38 held right upside my head by another Long Beach officer back around '79 -- that was a traffic stop that netted me a $35 ticket) I had gone into physical slow motion as soon as I saw the gun -- thinking in an oddly abstract way, Gee, I wonder why he's got that thing cocked? -- even though, oddly enough, it didn't strike me as funny it was out of the holster.

[*UPDATE: I've been reminded that .45 automatics are typically carried cocked with the safety locked, so the fact that this weapon was cocked was actually not surprising but if the safety was dropped as well, then it was ready to go.]


Just about as I was going to very slowly start explaining what I imagined had happened, one of the baristas came out (no uniforms at this place but I think he was wearing an apron) and said, "Wait, everything's okay. It was a sheriff's deputy who was here a few minutes ago and the guys across the street didn't know he was a cop. Really, these guys are regulars, they're OK."

The gun lowered,and he holstered it and grabbed his mobile, walked around the side of the building for a minute or two and came back. He hadn't said anything to us but my pal lowered his hands after the cop went around the corner.

My friend -- a guy who really has seen, if not everything, at least most of it, never broke a sweat.

As the cop came back around the building, he put his hands back up on top of his head and, with just a hint of sarcasm said, "Do you want me to leave my hands on top of my head?"

The cop, a guy much, much younger than either of us, looked faintly annoyed but was muttering about the "damn deputies" and something about their gang clothes and how the Sheriff starts them all out as COs in the (wildly overcrowded LA county jail) and they all come out from that duty thinking they're gangsters.

"I really apologize, sir. Apparently a motorist saw the deputy with a gun and called it in. I wish those guys would..." and I didn't really catch the rest, I don't think it was meant to be heard.

My friend smiled and said, "No problems. Don't sweat it."


Life in the city.





There's Always Trouble (in a Fool's Paradise)

[re-run - 2005-10-24]

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There's always trouble
in a fool's paradise
There's always trouble
but the fool don't realize

Trouble comes knocking
just when trouble wants
trouble knock down your front door
and take everything you got

There's always trouble
but the fool don't realize

there's always trouble
in a fool's paradise



There's always suffering,
plenty to go around
but give it to some other guy,
on some other side of town

I don't know my neighbors,
but they seem nice enough
and if the Insane Crips come and blow them away makes
it hard to maintain my bluff

There's always trouble...


Trouble stay out of my backyard
I can pretend it don't exist
sure enough I feel real bad
for that poor fool the trouble hits

but it really aint none of my affair
I fold the paper away
cause I sure enough know I don't wanta read bout
the trouble headed thisa way

There's always trouble...

Theres always turmoil
in the heart of Babylon
but you go where the gold is
and the rest just tag along

theres always casualties
in the race to stay alive
theres always casualties
but sometimes the strong survive

There's always trouble...

1990-09-07
(C)1990, TK Major

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Giving money to hookers and screwing your friends...

Gospel of Greed



It's the Gospel of Greed...
used to call it the Age of Me
-- but it isn't just I.
Honey, it's them and thee...

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Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Friday, March 17, 2006

Gospel of Greed

It's the Gospel of Greed
used to call it the Age of Me
but it isn't just I
Honey, it's them and thee

Now it's natural to want to
take care of yourself
but when you take too much
you steal from someone else

and if you think they're gonna take it lying down
you must be some kinda politician or TV-preacher clown
riding around in your Mercedes Benz
givin' money to hookers and screwing your friends

(You're singing)
I don't care if the Eskimos freeze
long as they don't sneeze on me
I don't care if the starving survive
long as they don't try to make a feast of a slice of my pie

(C)1990, TK Major

Monday, March 05, 2007

Like it always used to be...

She'd Be Mine


Last time I saw her, a couple years ago, she was shoving a couple of kids in a white Volvo. The sun came down through the eucalyptus trees. It made her hair just glow -- like it always used to be...



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Saturday, November 19, 2005
Thursday, March 02, 2006


She'd Be Mine

Last time I saw her a couple years ago
she was shovin a couple of kids in a white volvo
the sun came down through the eucalyptus trees
it made her hair just glow like it always used to be

just then I wish I could have said the words
that I could never say
cause if I'd told her baby I'll be yours
she'd be mine today

the pool house the beach house the boat house by the lake
I'll be damned if I can remember a thing
yet everytime I think about holding hands in school
my heart just pounds like it always used to do

right now I wish I could have said the words...

sometimes when I sleep I call her name
a thousand girls have told me so
I thre it all awaly and now I want it back
and I know it can never be so
[I know it can never be so]

and right now I wish I could have said the words
that I could never say
cause if I'd told her baby I'll be yours
she'd be mine today

(C)1998 TK Major
October