If I had time to count the lies...

He lay on the bed, watching her.

He was never any good at reading her. He never felt like he knew what she was thinking.

He was drinking, once, with the guy she had gone out with before him.

"Most people," that guy had said with drunken conviction, "have a mask they hide behind. And when you get to know them, they let it down a little and you start to see what's there. With her," and his eyes glinted a little in the dim bar as he paused, shot glass in hand, for effect, "with her, it's just one mask after another. At first, you think, ah, a mystery. I love a mystery."

The ex-boyfriend threw back the tequila and went on. "But the mystery becomes like a bad surrealism movie... there's no..." His eyes seemed to unfocus for a moment. "There's no coherency. A true sociopath would..." he stopped suddenly.

"I'm sorry, man. I must be drunk. I was just talkin' shit. I mean, well, she is a piece of work, and we both know that... but she is a real double E-ticket ride. If you want the thrills, you gotta stand in line. Oh, wait. God, I'm drunk. Let's have another round..."


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AYoS October 09, 2005
AYoS January 28, 2006


Not One of Those Dreams

If I had time to count the lies
or that hours that you stole
but it ain't like me to wonder why
all the same there's some things one needn't be told

I can see it in your smile
it's there behind all your words
something dancing behind your eyes
I can tell that you think it's
me that's gonna get burned

It ain't like you're the only one
that ever threw away love
I've sinned your sins and some again
it's all the same, it's all been done

I can see it in your smile...

I'm not saying that I'm sorry
I won't say I didn't love you
I won't say that I didn't have some dreams
but not once did I dream they'd ever come true

I can see it in your smile
it's there behind all your words
something dancing behind your eys
I can tell that you think it's
gonna be me that's gonna get burned

(C)1981, TK Major

The view from the hayloft door

There's a doomed beauty in knowing you're about to make what you'll probably look back on as the mistake of your life. Everything seems more real, more vivid, more 3D.

You look around as though it's the last time you're ever going to see familiar surroundings... and in a way, you're right. Nothing will ever be the same, again.

And you know you have to do it, anyway.


I wrote this song as a kind of bluegrass thing but I turned it on its head, here, into a kind of swamp folk rock indulgence that I think exposes some other facets of the song, highlighting the youthful passion and lust for life and love. Which is not, actually, what I was thinking when I came up with the music for this version.

Instead, I'd been so annoyed with an attempt to do this song the previous night in a sensitive, finger-picked style that I decided, really, to just invert the style and approach. (The George Castanza Strategy. If everything you do turns out wrong, do the opposite.)




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I Just Started to Cry

We ran through the summer night
it was hot and it was black
we ran until we were all alone
and didn't even know the way back

We were young
we were in love
that summer we were one
when I look back I start to cry
to think of what is gone

A storm came up from the south real fast
and lightning lit the rain
I looked in her eyes for a moment
and then it was dark again

Our hands entwined and then our tongues
we were soaking wet
we made our way to the old Hansen barn
and there our souls met

I woke up the next morning
and she slept by my side
the sunlight poured through the hayloft door
and I just started to cry

I cried cause she looked so pretty lying there
I cried because I loved her so
I cried cause I knew she was the only one
and I cried cause I knew I was gonna go

(C) 1991 TK MAJOR