Monthly Archives: March 2006

I’m gonna write a soap opera and you’re going to be the heroine

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Soap Opera

I always figured I’d grow up and be some kind of Madison Avenue type. I liked their style in the movies. They seemed to have the prettiest wives — or the hippest bachelor pads if they weren’t married.

And, from my studies in front of the television, I knew that Mad Ave types had more sophisticated ways of dealing with sticky interpersonal entanglements — and particularly creative and craftful ways of dealing with situations that might see the less sophisticated resorting to insult, invective, or even violence.

What better way, I always thought, of doling out a little comeuppance than to put a troublesome ex-love or a friend who has betrayed you smack in the middle of his or her own soap opera, you know, a real TV soap opera. Finally a chance to argue it all out before the court of public opinion — all, of course, without the ex-friend’s input, which would only get in the way of the poetic truth of the situation.

A note on today’s song: Today’s entry is a bit different. It’s still highly informal, but it’s more a full band demo for a possible project.

[revised mix posted Sunday, 2006-03-19 23:30 UTC]

previous AYoS version (Jan 23)

I’m Gonna Write a Soap Opera

I’m gonna write a soap opera
you’re gonna be the heroine
I’m gonna show the world just how ya think
I’m gonna write a soap opera
I won’t have to make up a thing
When we get the ratings back
you know I’ll take you out for a drink

I’ll get a famous model
to play your part for you
I was gonna ask you but you’re always busy
We’ll get a famous model
I know she’ll do real good, too
When the plot gets thick
She’ll be skinny enough to wriggle through

I’m gonna sell the rights
everywhere I can
there’ll be games and dolls and underwear
I’m gonna sell the rights
I suggest you buy up while you can
I said I’d make you famous
I think by now you understand

(C)1990, TK Major

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The root of all evil… [The Gospel of Greed]

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There’s enlightened self-interest.

And then there’s greed.

If you imagined that there was a self-interest organ (and I think they have found a brain chemical that correlates to aquisitiveness) then greed would be like a viral infection of that organ, pumping out more toxins that further inflame the organ, weakening it, and allowing the viral infection to proceed.

Anyhow… I think the metaphor/simile section of my brain is inflamed.

As I explained when I posted the previous version of this song, it was smack dab in the middle of the Greed Is Good Era that this song was written. It should be noted that I’m a businessman, myself, and don’t think there’s anything wrong with making money in fair transactions. I think sensible self-interest is good. It’s what separates the ants from the grasshoppers, I guess.

That said, there’s nothing I like better than doin’ a little fiddlin’ on a late autumn afternoon.

Metaphorically speaking.

previous AYoS version (Nov. 16)

Gospel of Greed

It’s the Gospel of Greed
used to call it the Age of Me
but it isn’t just I
Honey, it’s them and thee

Now it’s natural to want to
take care of yourself
but when you take too much
you steal from someone else

and if you think they’re gonna take it lying down
you must be some kinda politician or TV-preacher clown
riding around in your Mercedes Benz
givin money to hookers and screwing your friends

(You’re singing)
I don’t care if the Eskimos freeze
long as they don’t sneeze on me
I don’t care if the starving survive
long as they don’t try to make a feast of a slice of my pie

(C)1990, TK Major

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Let’s not talk about lonely nights [Let’s Not Talk About Girls]

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Let's Not Talk About Girls

This song sprung out of conversation and, of course, is also a reference to the Chocoloate Watchband song, “Let’s Talk About Girls.”

It was originally much longer and more overtly tongue in cheek… it started feeling like a fraternity drinking song toward the end.

This much shortened version is less overtly jokey. I sort of wanted something that could be taken a few ways. The problem with jokes in songs is that once you’ve heard the joke, you pretty much don’t care to hear the song again. (Well, I don’t.)

previous AYoS version

Let’s Not Talk About Girls

let’s not talk about lonely nights
or waiting for her to come home
we all know what it’s like
don’t think that your’e all alone

let’s not talk about girls
let’s not talk about broken hearts
let’s not talk about love and
how love can tear you apart

let’s not talk about togetherness
hearth home or family
let’s not talk about how it all falls apart
for all the world to see

let’s not talk about girls
let’s not talk about broken hearts
let’s not talk about love and
how love can tear you apart

(C)1980, TK Major

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Having fun all night long, having fun all through the day…

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Having Fun

 

 

 

I was infatuated with the notion of starting my own religion when I was in my very early twenties.

It just seemed like something anyone who was anybody was going to be doing.

I was convinced that all a potential avatar needed was a good hook concept to wrap around some classic self-help techniques.

Obviously, I wasn’t the only one thinking along those lines.

previous version

Having Fun

There’s a startling new religion
sweeping through the subdivisions
Having Fun is what they call it
Soon you’ll be a Fun-a-holic

Well, there isn’t any priesthood
doctrine’s anything that feel’s good
It’s the one true religion
There’ll be no more revisions

Having Fun (on the job)
Having Fun (while at play)
Having Fun (all night long)
Having Fun (all through the day)

Well, we’re all upon a journey
going back unto the Funhead
When we finally arrive there
we’ll have all the Fun we wanted

There are some say Fun is boring
but to them I’ll give this warning
Have Fun while there’s time
because the Fun stops when you die

Having Fun (on the job)
Having Fun (while at play)
Having Fun (all night long)
Having Fun (all through the day)

Having Fun
Having Fun
Having Fun

(C)1980, TK Major

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