This waltz is as brief as a few moments of sun on a winter day.
Mid Winter Waltz
The sun poked down through tall pines in a mountain canyon in early fall a long, long time ago.
The air was cool but the sun was warm on his shoulders and back as he squatted on a rock above the little creek watching insects skitter across the surface and small, silvery fish darting in and out of the shadows. A big crawdad waved its arms a bit and crawled under some rocks.
She was a little farther up the creek, her long, freckled legs draped across a sunny rock, her even-more freckled face turned, eyes closed, to the sun.
They’d talked for hours, for days, for years, for centuries, until their thoughts seemed so synchronized that speaking out loud seemed unnecessary. He could close his own eyes and feel the sun on her face as though it was his own, the rock underneath her.
But something was missing.
Some part of him that had always been there was now gone. He couldn’t find it… even though he wasn’t sure quite what it was. But it was gone. He knew that.
As the day began to fade and the canyon chill set in he began making the fire as birds darted from tree to tree or sang their evening songs.
Later they sat wordlessly staring into the fire. He glanced at her face in the flickering light… her face that was so familiar, her face that he’d traced with his fingertips and kissed a thousand times was a mysterious shroud… he could feel her thoughts like a distant storm… but all he knew was… she was going.
I Called Your Name
y’know I called your name
when I was afraid
but you were upstate
and you didn’t come
though I thought you might
there was a time when I’d play any game
just to be alive
there was a time
long enough to wait
time enough to wait
time enough to bring it back
and stash it away
a man thought you were the queen
did not mean a thing
but I thought it did
and if you were the queen
I wondered
and I wondered
how you kept it hid
and how did you steal
that shining light
how did you steal that blinding light
how did you steal that shining light from me
how did you steal that pure white light from me
(C)1972, TK Major
[This is, more or less, the third real song I ever wrote. The second (which won’t be appearing here unless I make an archaelogical dig into the darkest reaches of my garage) was a bit of an epic involving spiritual paralysis, crafted around a central metaphor of the carved ebony icons I saw being sold under the elevated railway near the Gare du Nord in Paris in 1971. I don’t even remember what the first one was about.]
People complain I don’t write enough sports songs…
The Final Score
From the junkies in the Cooper Arms
to the whores of this old shore
I’ve seen the winners
I’ve seen the losers
and I’ve seen the Final Score….
I’ve seen all your tomorrows
and then a couple more
Ive seen the future, I’ve seen the past
I don’t wanna see no more
I’ve seen the fear strike across their faces
I’ve heard their sorrowed cries
I’ve felt the void explode within
after the dream dies
I know what’s gonna happen but
I’ll never know what for
Still I’ll bet the game begins again
after the Final Score
(C) 1997, TK Major
Like Connan Doyle killing off Sherlock Holmes, I decided in 1998 that it was time to write my most famous character out of future episodes…
Maybe my heart wasn’t in killing off Baby, the self-destructive, half-woman, half-goddess who tormented the wounded, emotionally tortured protagonists of more than a handful of my songs. At any rate, I found myself writing this pretty much by brainpower alone — and I’m afraid it shows.
Like the half-hearted series finale wrap-up of a canceled TV series, this song shows the wrenchmarks of uninspired, but dogged craftsmanship (y’ listinening, David Lynch?)
Still, I thought it was appropriate as a wrap up for those previous (and thoroughly inspired) Baby songs here in the last few days of Phase One of AYoS. (Phase One, for the unitiated, is the roughly first third of A Year of songs wherein I set out to do every [presentable] song in my songbook, one after another [although in no special order]. Henceforth, my song choices will be guided by whim, inspiration, and the fierce whispering of my legion of demons, guardian angels, and muses.)
Careful readers — or those familiar with popular serial literature and media — will note that, while Baby appears to have made her final voyage into the sunset… we really can’t be sure… perhaps she will show up in some future song, resurrected by sheer force of personality like the indestructible villain of an old Saturday afternoon serial.
When Baby Can’t Go On
When Baby can’t go on
she wont wonder why
you open up the bottle
and go home when its dry
when the darkeness hits the dawn
and the ocean meets the sky
there’s never in her “always”
and forever in her “goodbye”
baby lived forever
for almost thirty years
then she sailed away one day
on a ship of frozen tears
baby had a house those days
way up the shore
we all knew that she was hiding
but we never knew what for
baby lived forever…
the last time i saw her
i knew it was her time
there was sadness in her laughter
and a long-way-off in her eyes
baby lived forever
for almost thirty years
then she sailed away one day
on a ship of frozen tears
1998-08-06
(C)1998, TK Major