Daily Archives: January 13, 2006

Happy Birthday, Baby

Happy Birthday, Baby


We’re coming up on the part of the first phase of AYoS that I like to think of as The Cavalcade of Dregs.

Now, yes, before you get started, I know I’ve been showering you with drinking songs, girl name songs, novelty songs, bad pun songs. I understand.

And, for that matter, I don’t mean to suggest that all the songs I’ll be posting here in the last week or two (as I finally run out of songs that haven’t been in AYoS yet) are necessarily really, really bad. (Well, a couple are. A few.)

There are even a couple of my old faves coming up, songs I used to perform regularly at gigs. And there are a couple of others that I always felt had promise but couldn’t seem to capture properly. But, for one reason or another, they are songs I’ve been putting off.

Sill, their time has come and that time is now.

But then, just like metaphysics bookstore reincarnation, the big wheel will turn back around and I’ll redo, salvage or reinvent a number of the songs I’ve already done, linking different versions and related songs: exploring, probing, inverting, subverting, or just plain trying to do a better job. (Well… that’s a baseline.)

And, while I’ve stayed pretty close to my basic format of a guitar or two and a single vocal, I may be stretching in the arrangement department, as well.

For those who’ve suggested that I should start writing a song a day when I run out of songs, yeah… I should. But if I did there would probably be a whole lot more that turned out like today’s opus: Happy Birthday, Baby.

image derived from a photo by Andrew Lih

[Lyrics? What lyrics?. I don’t need to post no stinkin’ lyrics. Bad enough I hadda sing ’em.]


Men Are Still Stupid

Men Are Still Stupid


Sometimes a suddenly evident truth just reaches out, knocks you over the head and drags you to its cave.

You know, something you’ve really always known.

It was an August night in 1990 and my next door neighbor and I were sitting in her kitchen, which opened on my backyard, talking, as we often did, since we’d known each other for years, about our friends and about life in general.

Most of our mutual friends were then in their 20s or 30s, many of them musicians or other artists, and there was plenty of turmoil, of all varieties, not the least of it romantic and/or sexual.

I’ve forgotten what exactly, what scandal, what dilemna, what intricate arrangement, we were talking about, but I remember a few moments of silence, standing up, and saying, “Well… men are stupid. Women are crazy. It’s a system. It’s the way it’s always been… ”


When I was just a little bitty boy
sitting on my pappy’s knee
he said hey TK listen to my story
take the word from me
dont let a girl get you in trouble
spend all your money make you see double
take this tip from your dad
don’t fooled and dont get had

I said hey dad huh dont worry so bad
times have changed and that stuff’s in the past
and then he rolled his eyes and he slapped his thigh
and he fell over laughing as he grabbed his sides
times ain’t changed since the early days
men are still stupid and women are still crazy

When I was older growing up
not quite a man but not still a pup
I asked my mama for some love advice
and she put down her slide rule and she picked up some dice
she rolled a seven then he rolled 2 ones
she said snakeyes sonny youre just like everyone (because)
times aint changed since the early days
men are still stupid and women are still crazy

Now Caesar he told Cleopatra
I know baby just what youre after
you think your loves gonna wear me down
she said julie baby ya got it turned around
You think my loves some palace plot
but I dont even know what I want
cause times aint change since the very first day
men are still stupid anw women are crazy

(C)2006, TK Major