Sometimes guys like me get an idea that seems so surpassingly absurd, so enticingly what I believe on the street they call “dumb ass,” that no amount of effort in bringing it to pass seems squandered.

Such was the case the day I decided to write a paean to the sexiest mother on the block, my imaginary best friend Somerset’s mom.

(I’m in Love with) Somerset’s Mom

Ever since Somerset
and me were kids
I’ve been in love
with that mother of his

All thru hi skool
I was burning up
I tried to tell her
but I wasn’t man enuff

I’m in love with somerset’s mom
I’m in love with somerset’s mom

went away to college
as far as I could
dated girls my age but
it didn’t do no good

Now I’m back
with a PhD
but I don’t even understand
my own psychology

I’m in love with somerset’s mom
I’m in love with somerset’s mom

3 grown kids and a bad divorce
but she still looks fine
now I’m grown myself — I’m back
I’m gonna make her mine make her mine

I’m in love with somerset’s mom
I’m in love with somerset’s mom