Tag Archives: willful

Willful

It's all because of you...
[New, improved recording version links below, 2006-07-21]

He watched himself… just to see how far he’d go.

And, when it was all over, he looked back and realized he’d watched himself, wide-eyed, as he threw away every single thing he cared about and everything he used to think he stood for.

Thrown away for promises he never believed for a moment. For obvious lies, crazy, outrageous, insulting lies… lies he still looked for reasons to believe.

Thrown away for dreams so real that each waking broke his heart all over again.

Thrown away: the life he’d been building since he was a kid, his home, his job, the high school sweetheart he’d settled down with, and the love that was unexciting, yet dependable and familiar.

Still, he knew in his soul that he would do it all over again. With no more hesitation than a deep breath and a silent, “God help me.”

this track on Internet Archive
previous AYoS version

All Because of You

He should have E~ g#m g#m
seen it coming
but he never dreamed
he’d ever have to watch her leave
She laughed all the way to Austin
And she cried the rest of the
way to New Orleans

Baby Doll, it’s all because of you g#m ~ f#m
You always sew destruction
No matter what ya say you’re trying to do
Now always get
whatever it is
you want
and as long as I’ve known you
You always want
what you ain’t got

I have known you
such a long long time
and you know I wouldn’t say
it if it wasn’t true
You don’t have a heart I know
but I’m recently convinced there’s no soul
inside of you

Yesterday’s toys you
throw them all away
you dont even watch
to see their paper hearts in the flames
Like a goddess before
the gods learned how to feel
In your universe your world is the
only one that’s real

bridge: c#m ~ g#m ~
(look here baby)
Baby I got the map on you
Every lie you tell
I can drill right through
Baby Doll the fall is coming soon
and when it falls
it’s all gonna be on you

He shoulda E~ g#m g#m
seen it coming
but he never dreamed
he’d have to watch her leave

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Little Baby Doll (v.2)

Little Baby Doll

Some mistakes you just have to make.

No one can tell you.

You can’t talk yourself out of it. You might as well surrender, sometimes.

You can hear a somewhat more spare version in the October 15 AYoS post.

Little Baby Doll

baby started something
back in 1986
baby started comin home
and showin me new tricks
Little Baby
Little Baby Doll

Baby said forever
just takes too much time
but Baby said “I’m here right now
so that should work out fine”
Little Baby…

Baby liked to gamble
with the things she said she loved
but Baby blew her hands
when push came to shove
Little Baby…

Baby played the vagabond
baby played the whore
baby played with fire
she’s not playing any more
Little Baby…

“Veni Vidi Vici”
Baby said when she came home
I said that’s fine for Caesar, babe
but Babylon ain’t Rome…

Saw her on the street one day
but I didn’t call her name
After all this time I knew
that Baby’s still the same
Little Baby
Little Baby Doll

(C)1993, TK Major

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Who’ll Stop Lorraine

 

LorraineI wasn’t so sure this song would ever see the public light of day. First of all, it’s premised around an especially silly pun (which I’m hoping I needn’t explain). Second, until I added a new verse last night as I was recording it, I was afraid it would come off as a dark and threatening sort of thing. I was imagining having to put up another “This is not a murder ballad” kind of disclaimer…

Happily, I came up with a way to end the song that makes it whole… that actually gives it some much needed resolution. An ending that hopefully means I won’t be accused of fostering violence against anyone.

In fact, I was still writing the song as I recorded this very version. At the last moment I found myself doing the chorus and realizing I had to change it, somehow, to reflect that resolution. And even casual listeners will surely hear the hesitation as I delivered the new lines off the top of my head.

Rather than re-record the track, I decided to share that moment of creation with you, my trusted and loyal reader. Also, it was late and I was tired and… after all, this is A Year of Songs… it’s not about perfection. Or even competence.

It’s about keeping going…

Who’ll Stop Lorraine?

I’ve known Lorraine since we were kids
and I’ve always been amazed
Every time she went too damn far I thought
Who’ll stop Lorraine?

I saw her hunt down Billy Jim
he was doomed from that first day
I saw her rip his heart in two and thought,
Who’ll stop Lorraine?

From the hotel bar to the airport lounge
Everyone knows her name
Over and over I ask myself,
Who’ll Stop Lorraine?

Finally one day I’d had enough
I sat her down looked her in the eye
Lorraine I love you, girl, but straighten up,
’cause, Lorraine, you’re wreckin’ people’s lives

From the hotel bar to the airport lounge
Everyone knows your name
Over and over they ask themselves,
Who’ll Stop Lorraine?

I never thought Id see a tear in her eye
I never thought I’d see into her soul
but since that day she’s come so far
and God I’ve come to love her so

From the hotel bar to the airport lounge
Everyone knows her name
Over and over they ask themselves,
Whatever became of Lorraine?

(C)2001, TK Major

PS… I also have one from 1994 (that I just now rediscovered — I doubt I’ve read it since I wrote it) called “When Lorraine Comes”… I strongly suspect that one won’t make it into AYoS. (Sample lyrics: “When Lorraine comes / she coughs and shakes her head / she hardly moves in bed / she might as well be dead /When Lorraine comes…” I think you get the drift.)

 

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All Because of You

XXXXX

Yesterday’s toys
you throw them all away
you dont even stop to watch
their paper hearts in the flames…

This is one of those songs that will probably never get done ‘right’ unless someone else does it. I probably ought to change the key I typically play it in (I wrote it in E major but typically do everything a half step flat, going so far as to keep my main acoustic guitar downtuned that much)… but I really like the way that big open E major (ok, Eb, but you guitarists will know what I mean) sounds. I can cap up but I need to go down, I think, and… ah… now we’re talking about how making sausage works, huh?) Anyhow, this was the best I could do with this song today. I’m sorry, Virginia, it’s a big nasty world and I’m only human.

[Strike that… I just replaced the recording referenced above and in the links below with a version I recorded Wednesday. Both recordings have problems. I juggled the competing sets of self-revulsions and went with the one I don’t hate right now. Or the one I do, however that works. What can I say? It’s tomorrow already… Have I said, Hey, that’s what the AYoS project’s all about, lately? Ah well. I knew there’d be days like… uh, yesterday.]


All Because of You

He should have E~ g#m g#m
seen it coming
but he never dreamed
he’d ever have to watch her leave
She laughed all the way to Austin
And she cried the rest of the
way to New Orleans

Baby Doll, it’s all because of you g#m ~ f#m
You always sew destruction
No matter what ya say you’re trying to do
Now always get
whatever it is
you want
and as long as I’ve known you
You always want
what you ain’t got

I have known you
such a long long time
and you know I wouldn’t say
it if it wasn’t true
You don’t have a heart I know
but I’m recently convinced there’s no soul
inside of you

Yesterday’s toys you
throw them all away
you dont even watch
to see their paper hearts in the flames
Like a goddess before
the gods learned how to feel
In your universe your world is the
only one that’s real

bridge: c#m ~ g#m ~
(look here baby)
Baby I got the map on you
Every lie you tell
I can drill right through
Baby Doll the fall is coming soon
and when it falls
it’s all gonna be on you

He shoulda E~ g#m g#m
seen it coming
but he never dreamed
he’d have to watch her leave

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