I could give myself to love but love would only break my heart I could give my world to you but you would tear that little world apart
Didn’t Know That I Could Still Be Scared
don’t know what to do about you
didn’t know that I could still be scared
I’ve been alone so long that this seems wrong
still I’m terrified to find
I need you there
I could give myself to love but love would only break my heart I could give my world to you but you would tear that little world apart
one day I looked at myself
and then I began again
I built it up and I tore it down
and I won’t do that again
I could give myself to love…
Every time I hear that I’m doing all right
I know that I’m living a lie
Everytime that I feel myself start to slip
I hold my hand to the fire
I could give myself to love but love would only break my heart I could give my world to you but you would tear that little world apart
It’s another scorcher here in south Cali… not as oppressive, maybe, as yesterday — unless you’re foolish enough to decide to catch up with your quixotic blog/podcast (I know, I know, all blogs are quixotic. I’ll go one better, all communication is quixotic. But it’s too stinkin’ hot to argue about engines of futility… Where was I?) …not as oppressive unless you close all the windows, trying to shut out neighborhood noise to better please your audience (that would be you, noble and perhaps imaginary reader).
The lyrics, I think, are more or less self-explanatory. It started off heading towards being a catalog song (a bunch of girl’s names strung together with oneliners about them) but I’m not a fan of the form and diverted it to a general discourse on the nature of love… at least as it relates to simple-minded pop songs.
I wanted an old-timey kind of sound so I used my 3/4 sized spanish guitar that I bought for $50 at a music superstore. It’s my go-everywhere guitar. I was going for a small, cheap sound — and I think I nailed it.
When Ashley Said Goodbye
Amber said hello when Ashley said good-bye
I said hold on but there’s no wondering why
when love wants in, love can knock down yer door
I said Amber, I think this is forever
she said baby you’re yanking on my tether
when all is said and done love will even up the score
Love will fool ya — love can kill ya Love is all that love can give ya and still you keep coming back for more
Love is funny — love is cruel
Love’ll make Einstein act just like a fool
Love’ll make a tomcat dive in-a swimin pool
All these toys all these games
all these pretty dollhouses going up in flames
if you play around enough you know you’re gonna get burned
Love will fool ya — love can kill ya Love is all that love can give ya and still you keep coming back for more
I’ve got a pain in my head and a fire in my loins… and a whole lot of empty in my heart.
Love… loneliness… longing… lust. A continuum of consternation. The engine of desire.
I thought we were getting way too moody here… Indian summer seems to have kicked in. And with the sudden rush of warm winds and blue skies comes… longing… desire… and lust.
Babe I’ve been alone for such a long time
this loneliness tearin’ me apart
I got pain in my head and a fire in my loins
and a whole lot of empty in my heart
If you had a thought in your pretty little head Then maybe we could talk today we’re alive tomorrow we’re dead so I think right now we’d better rock
I look in your eyes and I wonder what
is going on in your mind
Are you really where you are
or where you’ll be tomorrow night?
your leg touches mine beneath the table
I feel your hand slide up my thigh
I feel kinda dizzy I feel kinda high
I feel like I’m gonna die
If you had a thought in your pretty little head Then maybe we could talk today we’re alive tomorrow we’re dead so I think right now we’d better rock
This song has always escaped my grasp in the past and this time is no exception.
Let’s call this recorded version a sketch and I’ll promise to come back to this song and get a proper version — say, one with all the lyrics — posted a ways down the road.
It was the first waltz I wrote. And that wildly exotic time signature used to flummox this poor, ignorant ex-punk rocker… you may hear some echoes of that discomfiture in this… sketch.
Only the Dance
Partners will come, partners will go
waltzing off into the past
the music goes on, long after we’re gone
in the end there is only the dance
Music plays from far away let’s give it one more chance why should we stumble, why should we fall you know you know how to dance
I stand in the middle of the everything
and I’m hooked up to it all
I tried so long to be everything
and now I’m nothing at all
Music plays from far away let’s give it one more chance why should we stumble, why should we fall you know you know how to dance
The echo of that music box
the one that you got in Spain
I hear it at the river’s edge
and I hear it in the rain
I hear it in the whisper of
the evening wind in the trees
I sing it in the thunderstorms
and I scream it down on my knees
music plays from far away let’s give it one more chance why should we stumble, why should we fall you know you know how to dance
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blog within a blog…
I found out yesterday that my favorite DJ, Sam Fields of KKJZ, my hometown radio station (formerly known as KLON to jazz aficionadi around the world) passed away midweek. Sam’s voice was big and cool and calm. His knowledge was deep and nuanced. He wasn’t a flashy hipster like his (equally beloved) late colleague Chuck Niles — but he was quietly hip and very cool. I miss the heck out him, already.
