Okay… this song is… well, stupid.
And I don’t mean “good” stupid.

I was a hippie kid and went barefoot year round as soon as I got into college. The concept of fancy clothes and shoes was as foreign to me as a Mai Tai to an eskimo.

But at some point, I became aware of the power of shoes over certain women — and I became aware that there were certain men who would callously wield that power, dangling obscenely expensive, obscenely uncomfortable — and, ultimately, obscenely stupid — shoes in front of their helpless objects of desire, enthralling them in a way which seemed to smack of a dark and mysterious magic, as to the nature of which I could only speculate.

[DISCLAIMER: This song is sung from the point of view of a protagonist who appears to be a sadist and a dangerous sociopath who will stop at little to achieve his sick ambitions — namely, pleasing the unseen girlfriend/wife he addresses throughout the song. It contains lyrics with threats of cruelty to animals as well as ransom kidnapping. We would like to make this very clear: AYoS in no way endorses threats of cruelty to animals or the kidnapping the heirs of large, industrial fortunes. Unless there’s a really, really good reason.]

 This song is so stupid, I’m not even going to post the lyrics. And look at the crap I have posted already. Think about that.