Tag Archives: jet set

Baby’s On TV

Baby's On TV

The rec room curtains drifted in and out of the open window, so slowly as to be all but unnoticeable. A fly droned several times around the room and smacked itself against the smudged and dingey closed half of the window.

He looked at the fly and knew it wanted to die.

The rec room TV was stuck on MTV. Which wouldn’t have been so bad if the sound worked. But one night a few weeks back someone had put a pool cue through the speaker so far it got stuck and stayed there sticking out into the room like a flagmast. But the picture was great and no one had bothered to turn the set off since then.

Now, laid off for at least a week by a downturn at the plant, he was idling away the days nursing beers that soon turned warm and flat, watching Beavis and Butthead reruns, and thinking about what how good he had it before Mavis Jean went off with the talent scout from the spokesmodel try-out fair.

It was looking like it was going to be another hot, smoggy San Bernardino Christmas but the deep greens and bright festive reds on the TV transported him for a few moment s to the fantasy Christmas he’d imagined everyone else enjoyed when he was growing up: a smiling family gathered around a glowing hearth, snowflakes fluttering outside frosty windows.

And as he floated in the sway of the moment, the family holiday was replaced by sleek images from a trendy perfume ad, a stark modern art montage leading up to an oddly familiar, hollow-cheeked, waif-like face filling the screen. And then a series of flash-lit jump cuts to reveal Mavis Jean’s too-skinny body draped in dark pajamas, her blank eyes staring hypnotically into the camera.

Her lips moved a tiny bit. At first he thought she was blowing a kiss to the camera as her level gaze held the camera. Then he realized she must be saying something… and it was hard to tell for sure, but he was convinced he knew what what it was:

Sucker.

Today’s acoustic version:

Full version on Soundcloud

Baby’s On TV

Send for the doctor
send for the priest
The End must be coming
’cause Baby’s On TV
She’s talking with her eyes

She couldn’t hold a job
could hardly spell her name
now she’s lunching at the polo lounge
and wintering in spain
(she’s speaking from her heart)
she’s talking with her eyes

I’d been expecting
to be surprised
but when I saw that advert
the sun fell from the sky
she’s talking with her eyes
saying what a fool I’ve been to never realize

just an average girl next door
without an ounce of style
now she’s a jetset darling
soul-kissing me good-bye
shes talking with her eyes

I met her in a cross-dress bar
down in San Antone
She was draped across some gigolo
and most of her clothes were gone

Her eyes were blue her hair was green
and her legs were impossibly long
but most of all it was her blank-eyed stare
that really turned me on

I knew right then
she was the only one
who would ever break my heart
I took her home and we settled down
in the Camelot Trailer Park

But Fate intervened in the mall that day
at the Spokesmodel Try-Out Fair
they loved her look they loved her legs
they loved here blank-eyed stare

send for a doctor send for the priest
the End must be coming
’cause Baby’s On TV
Shes talking with her eyes

Shes got clothes She’s got cars
she’s seen with politicians
she’s seen with handsome stars
I’m sitting home watching baby on TV

Babys on TV
Babys on TV

she’s talking with her eyes
saying what a fool I’ve been to never realize

Share

Too Much Trouble Christine

2 Much Trouble

much trouble?

Nah…

Like Goldilocks, the singer in this song seems to think he’s got just enough trouble.

This is, of course, for those who’ve been paying attention (you know who you are and your gold star is in the mail), the second version of this song in two days.

I didn’t hate the first version (or I wouldn’t have put it up, hey?), despite a number of flaws, not the least of which were heart arhythmia-producing timing lapses. But I like this ver better. Still, you shouldn’t be surprised if, sometime in the next year or so, yet another version pops up here. (But not tomorrow, I swear.) Don’t ask me why I’ve become infatuated with this tune. It’s as mindless as a JayCees mixer, for sure. Yet, somehow, it’s re-ingratiated itself with me after a decade of neglect.

One thing comes to mind… out of hundreds of songs… this is one of the very few tunes one might actually consider a love song. (As opposed, don’t ya know, to broken heart songs, cryin’ in your beer songs, gonna end it all songs, etc…)


You’re Too Much Trouble, Christine

You’re too much trouble, Christine
You’re too much trouble, Christine
You’re too much trouble, Christine
So Why do I love you, Christine

You’re too much trouble, Christine

Christine on a beach, Christine on a plane
Christine in a cafe with the boulevardiers
Christine on the set Christine in my head
Christine in my heart and tearing up my bed

You’re too much trouble, Christine…

Christine I’m terrified just holding your hand
Christine you twist me like no one else can
Christine you’re crazy but you got a plan
world domination begins with one man

You’re too much trouble, Christine
You’re too much trouble, Christine
You’re too much trouble, Christine
So Why do I love you, Christine

You’re too much trouble, Christine

Share

You’re Too Much Trouble, Christine

think we’re gonna try something new, here.

I recorded this a few days ago and put it aside. As I was prepping the file to use it today, trimming the clunks and thunks off the begining and end and outputting it to an mp3, and I sort of got the song caught in my head.

I started singing it out loud (I live by myself — I can do these things) and finally picked up a guitar and started playing the song much more aggressively and decided I really liked it better.

But us database guys hate wasted anything, so I decided to post this one anway — and as soon as I get done with this post, I’m going to hit the big red button and record what I’m hearing in my head right now, and, barring unforseen circumstances, like the sudden onslaught of a bout of good taste or better judgement, I should post that version tomorrow. So, it’ll be an opportunity for comparative analysis and criticism. In fact, for my next project, I think I’ll just do a year’s worth of different versions of this song.

By the way, this is yet another song from the ’96 project, The Barista Cycle. Oh, yeah… and yes, I am painfully aware of how much the tempo varies, sometimes within a bar or two in today’s version. All I can say is, wait’ll you hear tomorrow’s version.


You’re Too Much Trouble, Christine

You’re too much trouble, Christine
You’re too much trouble, Christine
You’re too much trouble, Christine
So Why do I love you, Christine

You’re too much trouble, Christine

Christine on a beach, Christine on a plane
Christine in a cafe with the boulevardiers
Christine on the set Christine in my head
Christine in my heart and tearing up my bed

You’re too much trouble, Christine…

Christine I’m terrified just holding your hand
Christine you twist me like no one else can
Christine you’re crazy but you got a plan
world domination begins with one man

You’re too much trouble, Christine
You’re too much trouble, Christine
You’re too much trouble, Christine
So Why do I love you, Christine

You’re too much trouble, Christine

Share