Tag Archives: broken heart

I’m Starting to Really Hate Dreaming

I'm Starting to Really Hate Dreaming
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He woke up with sweaty sheets wrapped around him like swaddling, like the shroud on a mummy. He felt like he hadn’t been asleep at all. His stomach felt knotted and empty but the last thing on his mind was food.

Every dream was different. Every dream was the same. A thousand different stories — but always with the same ending.

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Every night he met her again for the first time. Every night it was different.

Sometimes, in a dream they’d meet on the street, he’d pass her by and turn and look as she turned to look. Sometimes at a party or in the supermarket or in a park. Once at church. Another time, she was a new hire at his work and they had a cute meet in the lunch room, right out of the kind of sappy old romantic comedy she loved.

In another dream, he met her in high school but somehow it looked like his old, half-forgotten grammar school. There was an innocence to the dream that made it just that much more heartbreaking when it ended — as each dream always did — with them parting forever… a forever that seemed to stretch, empty and as lonely as space itself to the end of time, the end of the universe.

lyrics
I’m Starting to Really Hate Dreaming

I’m
starting to really hate dreaming
I can’t stand to see the night fall
if can’t close my eyes without dreaming all night
and I’d rather not close them at all

all my dreams start out happy
we have just fallen in love
day by day it starts slipping away
by the morning, it’s all come undone

Losing you one time
baby that was hard enough
losing you (each and) every night
makes me sorry I (ever) fell in love

It’s better to have lost
than never fall in love
that’s what some loser said
I say it’s better — better not to dream
time for dreaming when I’m dead

All of my dreams start out happy
in all of my dreams you’re the one
we fall in love every night
by the morning it’s all come undone
(C)2009, TK Major

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If I sleep I might dream…

Baby, I Just Got the Blues

You could start out drinking in a trucker bar on West Anaheim Street in Long Beach, end up closing a bar in Bakersfield and still find yourself driving back into downtown LA with an hour to spare before dawn…

What to do with your time?

About this version: I’d been meaning to drag my laptop and a mic over to my buddy Kurt’s house for a long time and something like this version of this song would have been a good candidate for a bongo part by the intuitive and adaptive percussionist.

My own sub-beach party overdub on the recording below can only hint at what might have been if I’d just got my ass in gear…

Carpe that diem, baby.

Baby, I Just Got the Blues

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previous AYoS versions
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Saturday, June 17, 2006

lyrics
Baby, I Just Got the Blues

I drive around all night
looking for nothing to do
I play guitar til dawn
but every song’s about you
if I sleep I might dream
and we all know that dreams don’t come true

Ain’t nothin wrong with me baby
I just got the blues
Ain’t…

walked along the shore
wondering what a smart guy would do
in the Idiot’s Guide to Love
I must be listed in the back under “fool”
sure once I had some answers
now I’d settle for some lies that sound true

Ain’t nothin wrong with me baby
I just got the blues
Ain’t…

It’s easy for you sugar but then
everything’s easy for you
You know what you want
and you know how to make it come true
But, it’s hard for me, doll, to
bid all that we had adieu

Ain’t nothin wrong with me baby
I just got the blues
Ain’t nothin wrong with me baby
I just got the blues

(C)1998 TK Major


[full version on Soundclick | requires Flash]


(C)2007, TK Major

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There Ain’t No Heart in My Heart Anymore

Ain't No Heart in My Heart No More

Sometimes, back in the days of my fitful career as punkrocker-turned-folkie, I used to tag myself as the Bard of Bitterness, Denial, and Regret.

My ol’ man used to always say, If you’ve got a lemon tree, make lemonade.

[This was written on a stormy Saturday in Mexico I wrote about in the first week of the AYoS project, in my post for the song, Looking for Trouble. It was the second of three songs I wrote that day. I subsequently posted the third, Not One of Those Dreams.]

 

There Ain’t No Heart in My Heart Anymore

There ain’t no heart
in my heart no more
I don’t know where it’s gone
but it’s gone for sure
Maybe it went with you
when you went out that door
but there ain’t no heart
in my heart anyore

I feel like giving up and maybe I should
I cant go on and I know it’s no good
There aint no meaning
in life any more
no there aint no heart
in my heart anymore

The end just means
we begin again
where did you say I signed
I’ve lived this life
one two many times
I don’t think I can take it twice

Too many loves
too many lies
too many broken lives

too much night
too little love and way too little love
and nothing to show for a life

refrain
There ain’t no heart
in my heart no more
I don’t know where it’s gone
but it’s gone for sure
Maybe it went with you
when you went out that door
but there ain’t no heart
in my heart anymore

(C) 1981,1989,2005 TK Major

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When Ashley Said Goodbye

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It’s another scorcher here in south Cali… not as oppressive, maybe, as yesterday — unless you’re foolish enough to decide to catch up with your quixotic blog/podcast (I know, I know, all blogs are quixotic. I’ll go one better, all communication is quixotic. But it’s too stinkin’ hot to argue about engines of futility… Where was I?) …not as oppressive unless you close all the windows, trying to shut out neighborhood noise to better please your audience (that would be you, noble and perhaps imaginary reader).

The lyrics, I think, are more or less self-explanatory. It started off heading towards being a catalog song (a bunch of girl’s names strung together with oneliners about them) but I’m not a fan of the form and diverted it to a general discourse on the nature of love… at least as it relates to simple-minded pop songs.

I wanted an old-timey kind of sound so I used my 3/4 sized spanish guitar that I bought for $50 at a music superstore. It’s my go-everywhere guitar. I was going for a small, cheap sound — and I think I nailed it.

 

When Ashley Said Goodbye

Amber said hello when Ashley said good-bye
I said hold on but there’s no wondering why
when love wants in, love can knock down yer door

I said Amber, I think this is forever
she said baby you’re yanking on my tether
when all is said and done love will even up the score

Love will fool ya — love can kill ya
Love is all that love can give ya
and still you keep coming back for more

Love is funny — love is cruel
Love’ll make Einstein act just like a fool
Love’ll make a tomcat dive in-a swimin pool

All these toys all these games
all these pretty dollhouses going up in flames
if you play around enough you know you’re gonna get burned

Love will fool ya — love can kill ya
Love is all that love can give ya
and still you keep coming back for more

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