Category Archives: acoustic

Dance of the Alienated Codeslingers

Beta Girls Go

He lay across her bed, counting the holes in the ceiling tiles.

The afternoon sun came in through slitted mini-blinds, angling down across his naked body. A sheet lay across his thighs and strayed across the floor.

He heard her in the tiny apartment’s kitchenette.

As soon as they were done — he was done — she’d jumped up without a word and begun making noise in the other room. A coffee grinder screamed to life for ten seconds and after a few minutes he heard the gurgling of a coffee maker.

He lay there, thinking she probably expected him to put on his clothes and join her.

Instead, he lay there thinking, This means nothing.

He wanted it to mean something. He thought it should mean something. Yet it didn’t.

He wanted it to mean something to her but he wasn’t sure why. He wasn’t even sure he liked her, really.

But he wanted her to like him. And, clearly, she didn’t.

She had once.

And he had thought of her as… promising. She was attractive enough and could even transcend her own programmer geekiness when the occasion warrented — as it had several times when they first started. He remembered watching her as she moved through a restaurant on their second or third date and thinking… she could be mine.

And, while he was convinced that that was true, he never figured out a way to make it true. Previous girlfriends, mostly setups arranged through friends, had been mostly disastrous. He never knew what to say or how to say it. And, usually long before the end of the date, he would find himself shrinking from whomever he was out with.

But when he first ran into the small brunette with blue eyes and too many earrings (three — it was too many) in his company’s breakroom and noticed she was working in longhand on a C++ routine, he found himself thinking that maybe, at long last, he’d found a soulmate right in his own backyard.

But it wasn’t going to happen and he was just realizing that she’d known that for a long time.

[A brief note on this recording: I hadn’t played this song much since January when I last recorded it for AYoS. I made a point of not listening to that version before I recorded this, more or less winging the chords as I felt them under what passes for the melody. And I liked what I came up with. But then I listened to the January version and thought, Oh man, this is so much better. So… dig this ver if you will… but if you want to hear a near-definitive (yet still quite sloppy) stylistic reading of it, check out the version from January 25.]

Internet Archive page for this recording

January 25 version
November 15 version

Beta Girls Go

“version creep” is all she said
as she stared at her feet on the edge of the bed
“data drift” as she stood in the door
“we just don’t vector anymore.”

counting the holes in the ceiling tile
analyze the sex, index and file
measure the angle of the afternoon sun
measure the darkness when it’s done

beta girls come and beta girls go
leave not a mark upon his soul
beta girls beta girls beta girls beta girls go

pools of light and soul-black night
17 at first daylight
silent complex cleaning crew
wait to shave until they’re through

she gets to work just by noon
takes her laptop to the old break room
he trys not to look when he has to walk by
but as he closes the door he hears her cry

beta girls come and beta girls go
leave not a mark upon his soul
beta girls beta girls beta girls beta girls go

(C)2000 TK Major (2000-01-24)

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Wasn’t there forever…

deep inside my heart

My first apartment was a 3rd floor split-level walkup in a haunted old Hollywood-Tudor frame house. It had been built in 1908, by the developer of a then exlusive neighborhood called Carrol Park.

It was a time when houses, if they were big enough, had names. The name of my house was Brown Gables and it reached about four stories above the two story neighborhood.

Our living room and kitchen were on the third floor but my bedroom was on a split level in between floors, with my roomie sleeping on an elevated loft above that — a full floor above the living room. The peaked roof rose another 15 feet or so above the loft. My bedroom was on the split level. It was part of a large gable, with three three light windows across the street side.

I used to eat breakfast on the rickety, swaying two flight wooden stair that led dizzyingly down from our kitchen’s back door, a story and a half straight on each flight. Our landlord was a neighboring church that was renting out the scheduled-to-be-torn-down old house, divided into five apartments during the tough times of the depression, to students from the local university.

Growing up in the postwar suburbs of Orange County, California, I found the old house the most exotic place I could imagine for a first apartment. I never saw the ghost but my roommate said he thought he did. A Sikh engineering student the next floor down had felt its presence and heard things. Another tennant, a young woman, had seen the ghost, a middle aged man, several times.

House legend had it that the ghost was the former aide and companion of a retired WWI general, supposedly killed in a lover’s quarrel by his longtime boss, who was subsequently sent away to an institution for the criminally insane, as those facilities were quaintly known back then.

As one might imagine, the wiring in the old house — apparently mostly unimproved since its building six decades before, a time when electricity was pretty much used for lights and maybe those new-fangled toasters that had just started being manufactured — was primitive.

There were no circuit-breaker panels at Brown Gables.

There was just a dingey — and singed –row of old-fashioned fuses with grease pencil labels over them, protected by a little slanted awning, tucked under the bottom leg of the back stairs.

I should hope it will horrify modern readers to think that college students — about half of them grad students — would do something as absurdly dangerous as substituting a slug for a fuse but that’s exactly what happened when no one had a fuse and papers needed to be written or Coltrane listened to.

The smudged and blackened area around some of the fuse sockets attested to that danger, yet standard practice when confronting an overheating slug was to simply turn off some appliances and try to go on about normal life. And, of course, try to remember to pick up a box of fuses on the way back from class in the morning.

Brown Gables never burned down, happily for those of us more than three stories above the ground and safety, but they eventually herded us out under court order (at least I got something like a month’s rent free, that was nice). We tried a lot of last ditch efforts, invoking the building’s historic status (that was most of town in those days, though… much of it sadly gone, now), even holding a tiny protest before a bewildered reporter from the local daily, whose seemed considerably more sympathetic to soulless institution tearing our home out from under us.

Actually, the church caretaker who served as our property manager, was a real nice old fellow, so it wasn’t as though we were directly mistreated. Of course, the church tore his house down to build an old folks home.

They put a parking lot where Brown Gables had been.

What, you were asking yourself back when you still cared, does any of this to do with today’s song, which, for crying out loud, isn’t even about fuses but rather about a circuit breaker, which is really just a slightly goofy metaphor, anyhow…

Nothin’ much.

AYoS Thursday, October 13, 2005
AYoS Saturday, March 11, 2006

Internet Archive page for this recording

Circuit Breaker

Honey there’s a circuit breaker
deep inside my heart
late last nite I felt the whole thing blow
I felt all my feelings stop

Isn’t it amazing, doll
how fast it all can change
the twitch of a tiny hand
and today is yesterday

The love l felt for you
was like a frozen photograph
where you watch the ghosts appear
baby, step into the past

Isn’t it amazing, doll…

Wasnt there forever
at least for a little while
wasnt there a time for us
too bad that’s out of style

Isn’t it amazing, doll
how fast it all can change
the twitch of a tiny hand
and today is yesterday

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It’s your second chance for the very last time

The Devil's Quicksand

The cartoonish admonitory that is the subject of today’s post is a tribute, in its way, to the pre-Just Say No anti-drug movies I watched on rickety, flickering 16 mm projectors as a none-too wayward youth. (I was, likely as not, the guy tasked to setting up and monitoring the projector.)

Thanks to the goofy, over-the-top antics of a lost generation of young educational film actors (“And now from his triumphant role in ‘Your Hygiene and You’ comes…”) some very unfunny drugs actually gained a sort of anything-for-a-laugh charisma.

Projector geek I may have been but I got hip and cynical later and had many exciting adventures that do not bear talking about here (ahem). Still, I somehow managed to dodge the obvious and dangerous drug traps (unless you count alcohol, that is, but we’ll save that for another post). Unhappily, not all my friends and loved ones have been as lucky.

Drugs can make you a clown — like the pathetic dude in this song — but at least in death a junkie can suddenly become a complex, troubled person again, gaining again a little of the dignity squandered in life.

previous AYoS version (2/19/2005)
Internet Archive page for this recording

Special Insider Sneak: The long-hidden electric version

The Devil’s Quicksand

It’s your second chance for the very last time
with your head in your hands and your future behind
grab your life pull as hard as you can
cause your up to your neck in the devil’s quicksand

if she told you once it was good advice
but a thousand times now that’s just a slice
of some other reality you’d prefer to ignore
it’s just that easy you shut the door

on the love she gave it was just too good
and you always hated how she understood
and you walked away and you felt so free
in the park that day spinning under the trees

but now its cold and the darkness comes
and the drugs wear off and your chums are scum
and the cyst on your arm is turning green
and the one-eyeds guys sez it’s the worst he’s seen

so you drag your ass to the ER room
and you wait 12 hours while the TV booms
and the little kids and the sobbing man
and the angel of death is right at hand

you just cant wait and you run outside
in the streetlight night you stop and cry
“is this their pain–or is it mine?”
you ask yourself but you knew all the time

it’s your second chance for the very last time
with your head in your hands and your future behind
grab your life pull as hard as you can
cause your up to your neck in the devil’s quicksand

twenty cents is all it takes
but ya drop the dimes cause ya got the shakes
ya try again an ya get ’em in
but the the phone just rings and your gut caves in

your knees give out ya hit the ground
people walking by just step around
ya see the sky you see the rain
ya see your ashes in a bag in a paupers grave

but the phones in your hand and your hanging on
and just before the dark her voice comes on
and ya tell her “baby just one last time”
she doesn’t say nothing you hear her crying

her sobbing lasts for such a long time
you almost forget why you’re on the line
then it comes back like a drano slam
you got one last chance slip this jam

“come on baby i’m on the bricks”
you can almost hear her kitchen clock tick
“I ain’t done nothin’ in 36 hours
and I need a place to take a shower”

and then it comes and you know you’re dead
her hollow laugh fills up your head
she drops the phone and it hits the floor
you hear her walk away and laugh some more

it’s your second chance for the very last time
with your head in your hands and your future behind
grab your life pull as hard as you can
cause your up to your neck in the devil’s quicksand

(C)1997, TK Major

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I’ll keep it on the VCR and watch it over and over again…

Someone said something...

They found you in the arms
of another man
the needle still in your vein
You finally transcended
Now you’re cheating on a higher plane

Someone said something
or I’d have never known
Someone said something
and I never went home…

Internet Archive page for this recording
previous AYoS version

Someone Said Something

Someone said something
or I’d have never known
Someone said something
and I never went home

They found you in the arms
of another man
the needle still in your vein
You finally transcended
Now you’re cheating on a higher plane

Someone said something . . .

What are a few bad habits
between old friends?
You were a junky and a trollop
but I loved you to the end

Someone said something . .

Policemen and photographers
and a local station’s mini-cam
I’ll keep it on the VCR
and watch it over and over again

Someone said something
or I’d have never known
Someone said something
and I never went home

(C)1984, TK Major

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