![\"Saynora,](\"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/ayearofsongs\/images\/blogimages\/HastaBaby2.jpg\")
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L<\/span>ong ago (but not necessarily far away) I went out with an extremely intelligent, talented young woman who was, at the time, even more troubled than I was.<\/p>\n I was having difficulty “committing” to a serious relationship with her (Me? No way<\/span>… ) and she talked me into seeing a relationship counsellor with the notion that he could counsel me around my aversion.<\/p>\n After spending several sessions laying out the ground rules that my drinking was off-limits (“Hello, my name is TK, I’m an alcoholic and that’s the last we’ll have of that.<\/span> Let’s move on to why I can’t commit to a steady relationship, thankyavurrymuch…”) we settled into a somewhat labored probing of my psyche — or at least the public areas.<\/p>\n Eventually, after I’d laid out my feelings of interpersonal claustrophobia and we’d probed the wreckage of a recent, stormy two year relationship (with a side trip or two to my turbulent home life as a youth — much of it surely due to my own mercurial mood shifts and borderline Aspergerian monomanias) he finally looked me in the eye and said:<\/p>\n “Well, what do you<\/span> think you should do? Compassion, guilt, sentiment aside. If you were giving hard-headed advice to a friend in your position — if you were me — what would you say?”<\/p>\n And I thought about it. Not like I didn’t know the answer. I’d just never said it out loud or really even rolled it over in my head.<\/p>\n “Well… I guess I’d tell him to break off the relationship gently but firmly and try to heal his own wounds.”<\/p>\n And he looked at me intently for a while until he made sure I got the point of my own words.<\/p>\n And then he said, “Now if you ever want to talk about that drinking…”<\/p>\n So, being the tower of personal stength and integrity that longtime AYoS readers know me to be… [ahem] … I found myself saying: “Well, honey [I didn’t call her honey — I NEVER used endearments like that which is probably why I’m always drawn to using them in my songs -TK]… well, honey, the Doc gave me some advice… he suggested that we ought to break up. Y’know it tears me up…”<\/p>\n Yeah. I was a huge coward. But this relationship really did scare me. Pondering it was like staring into a place I knew my gaze would never pierce… a place I could never understand.<\/p>\n ______________<\/p>\n There are many tips o’ the tam to favorite bands in this song… Sparks, Joy Division, a number of country writers…<\/p>\n PS: Yes… I know that AYoS is a week behind… maybe you’d like to come up here and lend a hand, huh? Really, I’m gonna catch up… there’s plenty more droney songs about whiney losers where <\/span>these came from…<\/span><\/p>\n\n