{"id":190,"date":"2006-03-21T05:08:00","date_gmt":"2006-03-21T05:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/?p=190"},"modified":"2015-11-02T17:49:51","modified_gmt":"2015-11-03T01:49:51","slug":"i-tore-my-soul-open-it-was-empty-sometimes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/2006\/03\/21\/i-tore-my-soul-open-it-was-empty-sometimes\/","title":{"rendered":"I tore my soul open&#8230; it was empty [Sometimes]"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/ayearofsongs\/images\/blogimages\/sometimes-2.jpg\" alt=\"XXXXX\" align=\"left\" border=\"1\" hspace=\"6\" vspace=\"2\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 22px; font-weight: bold;\">H<\/span>e woke up in a motel in Yuma looking at a cockroach.<\/p>\n<p>He couldn&#8217;t remember exactly how he got there but he was pretty sure he didn&#8217;t have a truck, anymore. He fumbled on the bedstand under the imperious gaze of the cockroach, finally gripping his keys. Sure enough, the key to the Chevy was gone.<\/p>\n<p>It all started when he didn&#8217;t come home from the bar one Friday night to the little garage apartment he&#8217;d shared with her since high school.<\/p>\n<p>It wasn&#8217;t that he didn&#8217;t love her or think she loved him. He knew she did. He&#8217;d never doubted it until the moment he realized it was <span style=\"font-style: italic;\">only<\/span> that love that was holding her to him &#8212; that a sensible woman would have dumped his dark, driven, compulsively drunk ass long before.<\/p>\n<p>That realization broke him like a twig.<\/p>\n<p>He was drinking alone at the bar and thinking. And it just hit him and he knew what he had to do. He had to leave.<\/p>\n<p>She would find someone new, someone who would be better for her. And he&#8217;d be free to go to hell, which is basically what he felt like he had to do.<\/p>\n<p>It was a win-lose situation, but as long as she was doing most of the winning and he was doing most of the losing, it seemed right.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 70%;\">Today&#8217;s acoustic version:<\/span><\/p>\n<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-190-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.archive.org\/download\/Sometimes_v2\/20060320_Sometimes.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.archive.org\/download\/Sometimes_v2\/20060320_Sometimes.mp3\">http:\/\/www.archive.org\/download\/Sometimes_v2\/20060320_Sometimes.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 70%;\">Full version (1998):<\/span><\/p>\n<p><iframe style=\"border: 0; width: 100%; height: 42px;\" src=\"https:\/\/bandcamp.com\/EmbeddedPlayer\/album=4070776236\/size=small\/bgcol=ffffff\/linkcol=0687f5\/track=3372848522\/transparent=true\/\" width=\"300\" height=\"150\" seamless=\"\"><a href=\"http:\/\/onebluenine.bandcamp.com\/album\/collection-of-convenience-scared\">collection of convenience: scared by one blue nine<\/a><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.ayearofsongs.org\/ayearofsongs\/2005\/11\/sometimes.html\">previous version<\/a> [Nov 20]<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes I think about ya<br \/>\nthink about, think about<br \/>\nthink about the things<br \/>\nI thought I&#8217;d do for you<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes I wonder<br \/>\nhow you&#8217;re doing now<br \/>\nI think about it<br \/>\nbut I think it turned out best<br \/>\nwhen I think it through<\/p>\n<p>I know I let you down<br \/>\nI let you down, I let you down<br \/>\nI let ya down hard<br \/>\nand blamed it all on you<\/p>\n<p>I threw your love away<br \/>\nand I laughed and I laughed<br \/>\nI laughed until I died<br \/>\nand when I came to&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>the world &#8212; it was dead<br \/>\nand I walked around and I walked around<br \/>\nI walked around the world<br \/>\nbut I couldn&#8217;t find you<\/p>\n<p>I tore my soul open<br \/>\nit was empty, it was empty<br \/>\na tunnel into nowhere<br \/>\nand I never got thru<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-style: italic;\">sometimes I think about ya<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-style: italic;\">think about ya, think about ya<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-style: italic;\">think about the world I mighta had with you<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 78%;\"><br \/>\n(C)1999 TK Major<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>He woke up in a motel in Yuma looking at a cockroach. He couldn&#8217;t remember exactly how he got there but he was pretty sure he didn&#8217;t have a truck, anymore. He fumbled on the bedstand under the imperious gaze of the cockroach, finally gripping his keys. Sure enough, the key to the Chevy was [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pgc_meta":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6,27],"tags":[92,618,219,470],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/190"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=190"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/190\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2314,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/190\/revisions\/2314"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}