{"id":155,"date":"2006-02-15T02:23:00","date_gmt":"2006-02-15T02:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/?p=155"},"modified":"2015-11-01T18:06:55","modified_gmt":"2015-11-02T02:06:55","slug":"i-didnt-know-i-could-still-be-scared-valentines-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/2006\/02\/15\/i-didnt-know-i-could-still-be-scared-valentines-day\/","title":{"rendered":"I didn’t know I could still be scared (Valentine’s Day)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"XXXXX\"<\/p>\n

A<\/span> clumsy, rushed, homemade card and a bouquet of flowers plucked between my car and the current GF’s door and presented with the aw shucks charm of a little boy cozying up to someone he thought might give him a toy later if maybe he was charming enough.<\/p>\n

That’s why I live alone with my cat. Yep.<\/p>\n

And, you know, I’m so far down that road that I’m okay with that. Mostly.<\/p>\n

But every now and then I feel something stir — and it scares me.<\/p>\n

It’s not loneliness. I’m absurdly content. Self-contained. Hermetic.<\/p>\n

But sometimes, when someone catches me a little off guard, sometimes, I feel myself on that slippery slope that leads to the abyss…<\/p>\n


\nHappy Valentine’s Day, suckers!<\/span><\/p>\n

[For additional insight into my Valentine’s Day sensibilities, flip back a few days to Forget About the Moon<\/a>.]<\/p>\n\nhttp:\/\/www.archive.org\/download\/Scared_v.2\/AYoS20060214_Scared_v2.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n

previous AYoS version<\/a><\/p>\n

Scared<\/span><\/p>\n

dont know what to do about you
\nI did’nt know that I could still be scared
\nempty dreams night after night
\nafraid that you’ll never be there<\/p>\n

I could give myself to love <\/span>
\nbut love would only break my heart<\/span>
\ni could give my world to you<\/span>
\nbut you would tear that little world apart <\/span><\/p>\n

one day I looked at myself
\nand then I began again
\nI built it up and I tore it down
\nand I won’t do that again<\/p>\n

I could give myself to love…<\/span><\/p>\n

everytime I hear I’m doing all right
\nI know that I’m living a lie
\neverytime that I feel myself start to slip
\nI hold my hand to the fire<\/p>\n

I could give myself to love <\/span>
\nbut love would only break my heart<\/span>
\ni could give my world to you<\/span>
\nbut you would tear that little world apart <\/span><\/p>\n

(C)1994, TK Major<\/p>\n

Blog within a blog:<\/span><\/span> It strikes us as surprisingly odd (we’re so stunned we’re back using the editorial “we”) but we just realized that three of the four songs featured on the [then-current] front page of www.Ourmedia.org (which is<\/span> was our portal for posting our audio material to www.archive.org) are, well, we’re almost too modest to say… but, OK, you dragged it out of us: they’re TK Major songs. From A Year of Songs. We’re amazed and pleased and we hope it doesn’t get the Editor of the Week (who we don’t know, we swear) fired before his week is up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A clumsy, rushed, homemade card and a bouquet of flowers plucked between my car and the current GF’s door and presented with the aw shucks charm of a little boy cozying up to someone he thought might give him a toy later if maybe he was charming enough. That’s why I live alone with my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pgc_meta":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6,340],"tags":[450,262,40,272],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=155"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2113,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/155\/revisions\/2113"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ayearofsongs.org\/blg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}