I didn’t know I could still be scared (Valentine’s Day)

XXXXX

A clumsy, rushed, homemade card and a bouquet of flowers plucked between my car and the current GF’s door and presented with the aw shucks charm of a little boy cozying up to someone he thought might give him a toy later if maybe he was charming enough.

That’s why I live alone with my cat. Yep.

And, you know, I’m so far down that road that I’m okay with that. Mostly.

But every now and then I feel something stir — and it scares me.

It’s not loneliness. I’m absurdly content. Self-contained. Hermetic.

But sometimes, when someone catches me a little off guard, sometimes, I feel myself on that slippery slope that leads to the abyss…


Happy Valentine’s Day, suckers!

[For additional insight into my Valentine’s Day sensibilities, flip back a few days to Forget About the Moon.]

previous AYoS version

Scared

dont know what to do about you
I did’nt know that I could still be scared
empty dreams night after night
afraid that you’ll never be there

I could give myself to love
but love would only break my heart
i could give my world to you
but you would tear that little world apart

one day I looked at myself
and then I began again
I built it up and I tore it down
and I won’t do that again

I could give myself to love…

everytime I hear I’m doing all right
I know that I’m living a lie
everytime that I feel myself start to slip
I hold my hand to the fire

I could give myself to love
but love would only break my heart
i could give my world to you
but you would tear that little world apart

(C)1994, TK Major

Blog within a blog: It strikes us as surprisingly odd (we’re so stunned we’re back using the editorial “we”) but we just realized that three of the four songs featured on the [then-current] front page of www.Ourmedia.org (which is was our portal for posting our audio material to www.archive.org) are, well, we’re almost too modest to say… but, OK, you dragged it out of us: they’re TK Major songs. From A Year of Songs. We’re amazed and pleased and we hope it doesn’t get the Editor of the Week (who we don’t know, we swear) fired before his week is up.

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